Impact of Parental Separation and Divorce

Question: Discuss about the Impact of Parental Separation and Divorce. Answer: Introduction: This paper studies the effect of parental discord on the psychological and physical health of a child, by examining the story Popular Mechanics by Raymond Carver. The story deals with the theme of separation, disharmony, conflict, struggle and miscommunication or rather lack of communication (Cammiss, 2016). Through the incidents narrated in the story, the author highlights how quarrels and arguments between parents traumatises the child and can sometimes lead to fatal injuries and harm. This assignment researches and studies the consequences a child suffers when born and brought up in a disharmonious family environment, full of anger and aggressiveness; and how it affects the psychological and physical health of the child. In addition to this, the child also has to suffer the pain of choosing any one of the parents. This view on divorce and its effect on children are supported by various theories coined by philosophers and authors. In recent times, the issue of divorce has become one of the most common causes of stress among children. The consequences of divorce are that the child will have to stay with only one parent, move to a new house and in a new environment without his or her consent. In most cases of divorce, it is the child whose well-being, desires are neglected by the parents, and thus suffers the most. According to Berlin, children who grow up in a intact and harmonised family environment, with the company of both the biological parents has performed better in every aspects of life; compared to those brought up in an hostile and aggressive family with the presence of only one parent (Haimi, Lerner, 2016). However, it does not guarantee the fact that divorce or single parenthood always lead to stress and poor performance in children; in certain cases they do have an advantageous effect on the development and well- being of the child. According to Harlow, Bowlby and Ainsworths theory of attachment, attachment is stated as one of the key factors that determines an individuals personality and behaviour throughout his life (Joyce, 2016). Attachment is a strong bond that first develops between the child and parents and then eventually between friends and lovers. In most cases children of divorce has difficulty in adaption to the various stages of life and forming a bond of attachment; whereas children coming from a peaceful and harmonious family background find it easy to adjust with society and forma a strong bond of relation. However, here also there are exceptions and we see children coming from a difficult family background adapting easily to various difficult situations in life and forming a bond of attachment with the society. According to Baker, parental alienation is a situation that occur when one parent target and actively campaigns against the other parent of the child (Kraus, 2016). This kind of alienating behaviour is a common occurrence among divorced and separated parents, as stated by Baker and Verrocchio. The authors also stated that alienation behaviour does not always occur due to happiness or lack of adjustments between the couples but the actual reason of such behaviour arises out of the desire to gain control and power of their familial situation (Skog, 2016). In the story Popular Mechanics by Raymond Carver, there prevails an environment of anger and aggressiveness, and the distance between couple is reflected as the girl stands at the door whereas the boy is inside the room ("Popular Mechanics by Raymond Carver" 2017). There is an environment of gloominess and shadow in couples life as is symbolised by the darkness and gloomy weather outside as well as inside the house. The lack happiness and adjustment is between the couple is quite evident as they no longer want to stay with each other and there is no scope for resolution. In such a scenario, it is the child who suffers the most, as both the parents struggle to gain authority over the baby, as is depicted in the story (Thiongo, 2016).It can be described as a phenomenon of alienation, where the parents struggle for power and in the process neglect the emotions of the baby. In the ensuing battle between the parents, it is the child who is traumatised and this will adversely affect the ch ilds psychological development. This is kind of negligence is a total negligence on the part of the parents. The child does not get the love and company of both the parents and is forced to stay with any one of them and thus according to the theory of attachment, the child might find it difficult in future to adapt to the society and form a bond of affection with other society members ("An Analysis of the Short Story Popular Mechanics by Raymond Carver | Free Research Papers - EssayBoost" 2017). It might also give rise to reverse behaviour in the child and make the child more adaptable to various situations in life and thus create a bond of attachment with the society. However, in this story, the author depicts that discord and disharmony between parents can only lead to further deterioration of the family environment and can never have any positive influence as presented at the end of the story when a flowerpot falls on the ground and brakes. The breaking of the pot ominously indicates the fatal consequences, as they kept pulling on the baby. Though the author does not express it clearly, in his last sentence he mentioned that the issue has been settled ("Popular Mechanics by Raymond Carver" 2017). This implicitly imply the fact that in the process of pulling on the baby the arm of the child might have broken, which symbolises their broken relationship; or something more fatal could have happened and the child might have been ripped apart, which symbolises death, not only of the baby but also of the relationship. However, in certain cases divorce can lead to positive influences on the child. Lack of adjustment and happiness between the parents can never prove to be beneficial for children, even if they stay together. Sometimes one of the parents lack sense of duty and care towards the child, and in such situations it is always better for the child to be brought up by a single parent in a more peaceful and caring atmosphere, than staying in an atmosphere of aggression and negligence (Thiongo, 2016). Thus, it can be concluded that conflict and discord between couple is one of the major sources of stress among children and young adults. In a disturbed family environment, young children suffer from various kinds of stress and trauma from a very early age. This hinders their emotional, psychological and mental growth, and influences the development of their behaviour and personality. References: An Analysis of the Short Story Popular Mechanics by Raymond Carver | Free Research Papers - EssayBoost. (2017). Essayboost.com. Retrieved 7 February 2017, from https://essayboost.com/an-analysis-of-the-short-story-popular-mechanics/ Cammiss, M. (2016). A retrospective study of the long-term effects of divorce on the wellbeing of young adults. Haimi, M., Lerner, A. (2016). The Impact of Parental Separation and Divorce on the Health Status of Children, and the Ways to Improve it.Journal of Clinical Medical Genomics, 1-7. Joyce, A. N. (2016). High?Conflict Divorce: A form of Child Neglect.Family Court Review,54(4), 642-656. Kraus, A. (2016).Parental alienation: the case for parentification and mental health(Doctoral dissertation, Colorado State University. Libraries). Popular Mechanics by Raymond Carver. (2017). The Sitting Bee. Retrieved 7 February 2017, from https://sittingbee.com/popular-mechanics-raymond-carver/ Skog, F. (2016). Long-term effects of parental divorce: A population-based causal analysis. Thiongo, E. K. (2016).The effects of divorce on childrens social development(Doctoral dissertation, University of Nairobi).